My meditation journey
I had heard about meditation many times in the past. Somehow it never got into me. I had tried sometimes Yoga and found it boring as it made me fall asleep during the time of meditation at the end of the practice. In general, I have always been a very calm person and have been trying to reflect upon things in life. That’s why I never thought that meditation would be something for me.
Years went by and life happened.
The innocent part of me started hiding deeper and deeper. I left my home to find myself. I broke up with my long relationship. I was financially challenged. I started questioning the career path I chose. I lost friends, I found friends. I had many meaningless relationships. LIFE GOT ME. It got me, it got my daily routine, it made me forget.
It made me forget who I am and what my soul craved.
It made me question all the dreams that I had as a teenager.
It made me insecure, it made me more superficial, it made me more distant, it surfaced a part of myself that reminded nothing of the real Nasia.
I always had all these questions. What happens when we die? What is our purpose? Can I change the world? Do I want to live an ordinary life? I always felt close to religion as a general concept, because it signifies a greater cause for the common good. I felt connected to the concept of being whole with nature and the earth and of having a purpose to serve. Growing older, I forgot about these notions, but some nights they would wake me up. I would be scared of what would happen when I die. I would be scared of regretting that I lived a life with no purpose. That I lived a life without really living.
I got into meditation 3years ago. A friend talked to me about this with such a passion. I saw his eyes shining when he talked to me about the Soul. And how you can meet it with meditation and remember again your purpose. About how all memories are stored inside us and we could have access anytime, but we just need to practice. About how we can make the world a better place across any borders and distances. His eyes and words spoke to me. Very deeply. I started googling by myself the same night and found some meditation techniques. I found a website, that has tons of different lessons and which I am still using to learn things (if you want to know more about which one, please text me and I will let you know).
And I started listening to different audios from known apps out there. My first experiences? WOW! I don’t know how this happened but I think my body really needed this. After the third day, I started feeling like being outside of my body during meditation. I felt the space being so small and so big at the same time. I saw the universe. I cannot explain it with words, but I felt the connection very fast. Every day has been completely different. But the days that my mind is letting me go, I travel through colours, darkness, peace and beauty. I don’t know what all these mean but my mind is making me travel very far.
There are days that my mind is just caught up in thoughts and I am trying to make it exercise and focus on my breath. These days make me calmer. I know that I am busy and I need to bring my balance back.
There are days that I remember things from my childhood. It has been extremely impressive how many things I have remembered that I had forgotten.
There are days that I just see colours and I know that part of my energy related to these colours needs some care or tries to tell me something. There are days that I come to realisations for myself without thinking or processing. There are days that only tears come to my eyes and I break so much.
But every day I do become happier. My melancholic moments and afternoons are disappearing. My feelings are unveiling and I feel more congruent, more sure that my words, thoughts, and feelings are aligned. I am much more focused. I am much more energised. I recognise my feelings and I am more present than ever. I don’t have all the answers but I learned how to trust what is going to come. I am riding these waves and letting them drive me. The path that is coming ahead is true and real and it’s only my path. I haven’t solved everything and maybe I won’t. But maybe also our purpose is not about solving, but about experiencing. I acknowledge that difficulties will be ahead but I am learning to love myself again. And love can overcome anything. And with self-love, love from outside will also flourish inside us.
Meditation has been the awakening point for me. If you want to do something good for yourself, if you have any struggle, just remember. All the answers are inside you. And the easiest way to access them is practicing meditation. There is no right or wrong way. Meditation doesn’t mean that you have to be sitting in silence for hours. It could be taking a walk by the sea, it could be looking at a beautiful peaceful view, it could be finding 5 peaceful minutes. The important thing is to find this time for you on a regular basis, tune in and listen to your inner voice. That voice knows better than everything.