Aren’t we all gifted?
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the idea of “giftedness”.
When we talk about someone being gifted, we usually mean that a person has a high intellect, be it problem-solving, logic, reasoning skills, or on an emotional level, where someone could be highly empathetic.
There are many tests out there, and people often like using these labels, as if having a title of “difference” would make you feel better at a point, or it would make you feel different and more privileged in a specific way. When reading more and more about the idea of a gift, I started questioning though;
How is a gift different from a strength?
And aren’t we all gifted or strong in something?
Maybe IQ tests out there make it easier to measure someone’s cognitive skills and provide a measurable assessment in this specific field, but what about all the rest of the disciplines that develop our complex personalities? Is intelligence the only gift we have? And how much do we get educated as young kids to grow our strengths and talents?
And did you know that the more sensitive or the more prone you are to have a gift, the most probable is that you will experience life challenges or might struggle with existential conflicts are you grow older?
I was really in shock when reading this article about the correlation of strengths and life challenges.
How does this translate to you? Do you see any part of yourself in the challenges or the strengths?
I saw a huge part of my life while reading it.
> Being independent is a gift, but it also means that you can’t trust as much.
> Seeing potential is excellent, but your standards are relatively high.
> Having too many interests and being motivated leads to success but also can cause a lot of existential aloneness.
And the list goes on..
The thing is, school, society, people around us usually try to fit us in the defined realms of existence. They put a structure in us since we are young. They predefine what normal is and make us feel strange if we can’t understand it. We spend a lot of time and effort trying to be like others, disregarding our natural strengths. We put a lot of energy into being someone else without acknowledging that we will never be able to thrive by following someone else’s definition of “normal”. This normal that is not real, as only we know what’s reality for us.
There is a big difference between growing by accepting our differences and changing our natural tendencies to be a different person. We are caught up in the wrong fight, the fight to produce, the fight to live the dream they taught us, the fight to look like someone else.
Oscar Wilde said:
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken”.
Put your effort in starting being you. Put all of your energy into bringing up your authenticity. And learn what this gift is. If you feel different ,don’t put yourself down because of that. Find the way to make this difference work for you.
Commit to know yourself
Understand your uniqueness and be curious to learn about your mind, your heart, and your desires. Understand how you interact with the world and what are the things that make you different. Can you remember the joy and the freedom you had as a kid? Can you remember what brought you inspiration?
Operate more from your values and less from other people
Work from your values rather than the values that have been dictated to you over time. Everyone has different values and different opinions, and you should expect that people will not always understand you. Find your values and keep them in your heart; make them your guide. Don’t let anyone put you down.
Remove negative self-talk
Accepting ourselves involves also being more aware of what happens in our minds. We all have this voice that often we take too seriously. This voice is a reflection of how we consider others perceive us. Start noticing this voice. When you hear it, acknowledge it and act as if it was a friend of yours. Would a friend ever talk to you like this? What would you respond? The more you listen to this voice, the more you will understand what purpose it serves.
Come closer to the meaning of life for you
Countless research is talking about purpose. We are pre-conditioned to search for this meaning, and yet we are often so busy achieving or have no time to look for it. Meaning develops a deep understanding of existence and thus knowing oneself. Some suggestions to begin this process are:
- Write your last lecture speech, as if you knew you would die tomorrow. What are you willing to share with others? What is your greatest accomplishment? What other accomplishments and ideas were significant in your life?
Learning your gift can be a struggle, but it can also be liberating. It is a journey of a deeper understanding of our essence. I can only promise though, that once the first suffering is gone, once you realize that your difference is your asset, you can only feel liberation.
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With love always.